So April has brought a great blessing, and a little movement on the adoption front.
But, first of I must report the great blessing - Jeremy has been promoted to an assistant store manager. We have been praying and waiting for this for a long time! Over the past two years, there have been many lessons in patience and persistence when it came to his career. He has grown a lot as a manager and we are so thankful for this promotion. Every time he interviewed for a position we committed to give God praise whether he got the promotion or not - and we did - but, oh how awesome it is to give thanks and praise as we celebrate his new position!
On the adoption front, we moved three spots. Movement is movement, and we are thankful, but this movement was not related necessarily to referrals (I think some families have dropped from the Ethiopia wait list - for different reasons I'm sure, but the wait with no movement has been grueling). We are hopeful to see movement in the next two months or so. From our understanding, over the past several months Ethiopia has been conducting an investigation among their orphanages and the overall orphan status of children to determine if international adoption is still needed. It has been reported that Ethiopia affirms the need for international adoption is very prevalent, but they also want to ensure that it is the last option when necessary. Upon concluding the investigation, a new policy to advertise each child for local adoption via the newspaper, radio, or any media outlet for at least two months has been implemented. So, overall we are thankful to receive some clarification on what has been
happening in Ethiopia over the past several months and what to expect in
the months to come. There seems to be anticipation that referrals will
pick-up in a few months, but I am still approaching it all with a very
tentative outlook.
In the meantime, we are gearing up for Secret Church tomorrow night. We have two couple friends coming over to join us for the intense bible study and we are super pumped about what God has for us to learn.
And, in light of Easter this weekend... take a minute to listen to this song, it's so beautiful!
It has been very cold and gloomy here over the past several days. I simply can't believe it's mid- March and we still have temperatures in the 40s! I am definitely ready for springtime. However, I do love the mountains and for some reason, the crisp, cold air and rain reminds me of the mountains...and some bluegrass music definitely makes me think about the mountains. So in the midst of hope being deferred, I ran across this song by Alison Krauss the other day and absolutely love it. The lyrics articulate my heart perfectly.
"Jesus Help Me To Stand"
Through trials, troubles and care
I know Jesus my savior is there
Giving me faith through darkest days
Keeping me on the narrow way
Jesus savior, help me each day
Fill me with hope, fill me with faith
Darkness retreats at the touch of Your hand
Jesus savior, help me to stand
Jesus lived through darkest pain
Rejected by men, despising the shame
Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief
He gave his life so we may be free
Jesus savior, help me each day
Fill me with hope, fill me with faith
Darkness retreats at the touch of Your hand
Jesus savior, help me to stand
I know that Jesus died for me
Cancelled my debt at Calvary
Rose from the dead, unlocked Heaven's door
Trust in his love and live evermore
Jesus savior, help me each day
Fill me with hope, fill me with faith
Darkness retreats at the touch of Your hand
Jesus savior, help me to stand
There has been no movement (a.k.a referrals) within the months of January or February. *Sigh*
I honestly feel kinda of hopeless about the whole thing. The
lack of referrals is definitely not due to the lack of children in need
of forever families, but instead a gridlock of politics. The dynamics in Ethiopia seem much more convoluted then simply processing paperwork and referring children in need of adoption. Not sure what to do next... except that I know my hope is definitely deferred for the time being.
So, I've almost let three months pass without updating our adoption journey. Honestly, there isn't much to update on the adoption-front, or at least not in the sense of moving up the wait list. Movement has been miniscule, if not absent all together. There was no movement in November, and come the end of December we moved one spot. However, "the waiting" continues to be a season that I know the Lord is using to sanctify us for His greater purposes. I'm compelled to trust Him more, rely on Him more, and simply keep Him the focus as we persevere through the wait.
In December, we had a sweet friend lovingly share her time and talent to not only take our Christmas photo, but also do an "In Waiting" photo shoot for us! Thank you Gretchen (and Christian)!! :)
So, as we wait I've thought about how our wait, anticipation, and hope for our child compares to our wait, anticipation and hope for Jesus. Lately, my prayer has become that my longing for anything in this life, even the desire for children, pale in comparison to my longing for Jesus.
Lord Jesus, please use broken dreams, plans interrupted, disappointment, waiting - whatever it must be - to break me, make me empty, and make me lonely in order for you to become my one desire, my one true love, my breath, my everything. Lord please keep making me. Amen.
What is God using in your life to "keep making" you?
So here we are at the beginning of
another month. On Friday, November 1st, we got our monthly update
that we had moved one spot in the month of October. Honestly, it’s what we were
expecting…and even though it was somewhat deflating after hopes of lots of
movement, we accepted the update with thanksgiving and continued hope.
{Rewind four days}
Sunday night while
driving home from Charlotte, I felt anxiety in my spirit building. Anxiety that
I could not even fully articulate what it was about. I was praying through my
thoughts with the Lord and asking for His presence to be ever near. When Monday
arrived, I woke to an array of errands, and the anxiety and feeling of
depression loomed in the background – but I just pushed it back and attempted
to compartmentalize life in order to complete the tasks at hand.
Come Tuesday morning, I
could no longer ignore my thoughts and feelings – I felt depressed,
disheartened, and anxious. Every task became a chore and nothing fully
distracted me from the feelings and thoughts that plagued me. It was a physical
feeling of deep sadness. My thoughts mainly consisted of feeling as though our
journey of adoption was “less than”, “not good enough”, and that “we were
missing out” on the journey and experience of biological children. [LIES from
SATAN]. I think I was also dreading approaching the end of the month and
receiving another update of no movement. I knew in my head, these thoughts were
NOT of God, but I couldn’t shake them. I prayed to God and read His word, but
nothing comforted me or brought me peace.Late on Tuesday night I was driving to see a patient and like usual, I
had my worship music playing, but I couldn’t even bring myself to sing – my
spirit felt that burdened with anxiety and sadness. My thoughts strayed to the
accusation that maybe my emotions weren’t related to our adoption, but rather
lack of sleep and looking death and grief in the face so many times lately –
literally, in less than a three weeks time, I had attended seven deaths of
patients (a few of them being deaths characterized with difficult symptoms to
manage) and comforted grieving families. Now granted, I’m sure my physical and
mental exhaustion of my profession had some influence on my spiritual and
emotional state – but that was not the culprit of the problem – Satan was.
Wednesday came with no
relief. I trudged on through the daily tasks. I went to dinner with Jeremy, my
sister, and bro-in-law and shared my exhaustion amongst the waiting of
adoption. Everyone in good motive was brainstorming what would help me lift me
out of my funk – maybe a weekend away, maybe a Broadway show, or simply apiece of free Pie from O’Charley’s since it
was Wednesday (at least that was what Jeremy was hoping would do it). But I
knew nothing would fix "the problem". I was just waiting expectantly
to be lifted from the fog. I was lost at why this spirit of depression and
anxiety was lingering for so long. Why wasn’t God lifting me out of this pit? I
couldn’t shake it! And let me tell you, I am a person who is prideful –
prideful about my emotional strength, resilience, and stoic reserve. [And
honestly, I'm sharing all of this in hopes to first, give God the glory and
credit, secondly, to encourage others in the midst of spiritual warfare, and
thirdly, as an account for me to remember how faithful God was to me in the
storm.]
Come early Thursday
morning, I was called to patient who was close to death. It was around 4:30 am
when I left to be with the patient. Upon cranking my car and heading down the
road, Dr. Charles Stanley happened to be on the radio talking about the power
of Satan. I turned it up… He spoke about how Satan is our enemy and an absolute
LIAR, and how he “prowls around like a roaring lion looking
for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Dr. Stanley continued by encouraging that
we must be alert and sober minded. He expanded on how to resist him and to
stand firm in the faith (See 1 Peter 5: 8-9). He discussed how as believers the
Holy Spirit resides within us and is more powerful, and has actually already overcome
(1 John 4:4), Satan’s lies, deceit, and discouragement.Dr. Stanley furthermore discussed how there
is power in speaking out loud against Satan’s holds on our lives.
(It's
a 2-part series that aired October 30th and 31st - I heard Part 2 on the 31st)
Well…some
of you may already know where this going… a revival began within the four doors
of my car while driving down the interstate in the wee hours of the morning. I
began to rebuke and denounce Satan’s lies over my life. I started claiming
God’s truths and promises out-loud – proclaiming His victory at the cross and
my trust in His sovereignty over my life. Immediately, I began to feel Satan’s
spirit of oppression and anxiety lift - I finally felt free. God had sustained
me, he had never left me and as I look back over the week, God’s presence
was very evident (next blog post).
For this life here on earth, the
battle will continue - but what peace to know that ultimately the battle has
already been won! No matter what this life brings, we will rest in knowing who
goes before us.
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never
leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
(Sigh) As we end September...there have been no referrals this month and so we remain at #94...and yet again we give praise and thanks to God. Yes, we wish there was movement, and it is disappointing to not be able to report progress, but one of the greatest disciplines we have learned over the past few years is to give the Lord thanks in all circumstances - and so we praise Him.
Rejoice always,pray continually,give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
So, as of yesterday, we remain at #94 on the wait list for our little one! There was no movement this month. :( I was hoping we would get to celebrate some big movement with some of our dearest friends, Laura and Sean, who we just got to spend the past 6 days with!! (I just took them to the airport this morning - so totally wish we still lived only 5 minutes apart). But instead, I think the Lord had them here to help us celebrate and praise Him, despite no movement.
This is the rainy season in Ethiopia and courts are closed until mid-October. Theoretically, if I understand correctly, court closure should not effect referrals, but realistically it is not abnormal that referrals slow down. Even though we definitely want movement, we ultimately TRUSTGod's timing. Seasons of waiting can be tough - but we are so thankful for the grace and patience that God continues to supply! In my own life, I know it's in the seasons of waiting that I draw closest to God and that He teaches me great truths and lessons.
We are very thankful for the busy weekend with friends and family that consisted of the beach, mountains, food, and tons of fellowship that filled our souls during the waiting!
Cloudland Trail, Roan Mountain State Park, Tennessee
Praying that God uses our life and story in ways that He receives the MOST glory!
I love this song - in this particular season - the chorus that my heart sings is:
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the"wait"*
I
love this definition of patience! It was sent to me by a friend (another
waiting adoptive mama) today.
I
was also blessed to hear from another dear friend/mentor on Thursday (all the
way from M-iss-iss-ipp-i), who affirmed that the wait can sometimes seem as
slow as "watching grass grow".
To
all our friends and family who seek to encourage us, ask about, and partner
with us along this journey - THANK YOU - we are enduring the wait well, because
1.) God is sustaining us and 2.) there are many of you who help spur us along!
And
especially for the women in my life who are "bearing down"
with me in this season of life - please go and read this blog post by a
friend/bible study teacher who I had the privilege of learning from and being
encouraged by when I lived out in Arkansas (and still am - learning and being
encouraged by her - even 800 miles away).
Many
thanks to my "Mid-Wives to Hope"! I am eternally
grateful for your encouragement and love along this journey of adoption, but
even more so, through the daily walk of life, while in pursuit of knowing our
Hope, Jesus Christ, more each day.
Well, we feel as though we have come to a mile marker....we are under 100!! Hallelujah!
So without further ado.... We are number:
We couldn't be more excited and thankful for such great movement! At the beginning of the month, I tried to prepare myself that July might not have as much movement as June. I even have an adoptive momma that I email with throughout each month {total God connection - we were connected by a mutual friend, we both are Harding alumni, we now live about 2 hours from each other, are both adopting through Lifeline and are only a few spots away from each other on the "waitlist" - God is definitely in the details}... so anyways, after June, she encouraged that we pray to move into the 90s! I remember thinking to myself... "the 90s!!?? I will pray for them to make it into the 90s, but I doubt we will". Oh what little faith I had!
This month 19 children were matched with their forever families! One thing that I love about our agency is their advocacy to find the forever families of older children, sibling groups, and special needs children who are waiting! We are blessed and thankful beyond measure for the professionals and families of Lifeline!
Below is one of my favorite YouTube videos -
YES HE IS... and we want to give Him ALL the glory and praise!!
Wow! There was a ton of movement during our first month on "the list". We moved nine spots and are now sitting at number....
There were ten children who were matched with their forever families - six babies, a sibling set of two, one older child, and a child with special needs! How exciting! From what I have heard, this much movement in one month is not customary. The past two months have only had two referrals each month. It has also been exciting to see the milestones of other families as they receive referrals, court hearings, and clear the embassy to bring their children home. If you happen to be another Lifeline family adopting from Ethiopia - feel free to message me about joining the "unofficial closed facebook group".
And now, the wait for July begins!
"And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy,giving thanksto the Father, who has qualified youto share in the inheritance of the saints in light.He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son,in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
So
we received our first and official number in line with the other West Sands and
Lifeline families who are adopting from Ethiopia this past Friday. We are
number…
Most
people’s reaction as we have told them is: “That’s high”, “Is that where you
were expecting to be”, and “Really…I didn’t think it would be that long”. Well,
initially, I thought our number would be much lower too. However, as we have
become more abreast with the process and updated along the way, we knew we
would be somewhere in the 100s when we received our first number.
At
the same time though, this is a master list that includes all families no
matter what the specifications (age, gender, sibling groups, etc.). In one
perspective, it’s encouraging to know there are 120+ families ready to open
their home and hearts to children who need a family.
So
far, we have been told the average wait time is 12-15 months (shorter or
longer)… I somewhat have a sense it will be longer. Our goal in the waiting is
to pursue God and trust each day that his timing is perfect. We know God has purpose
and plans amongst the waiting.
“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.”
Isaiah 40:31
“Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast.
You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of
the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.”
James 5:11
Our prayer at this
time is that the steadfastness of our mind and spirit be rooted in our pursuit
and trust in God. We pray that our time of waiting gives Him all the glory!
We want to say thank
you to every one of you who is following us in this journey. Thank you for your
thoughts and prayers. Thank you for every kind word and gesture that so many of
you had made to encourage us! We are forever grateful!
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