So, tomorrow we have our orientation
interview on the phone with the Ethiopia team. And…. the enemy finds a way to
discourage me through words and opinions of others. The whole morning, I felt depressed,
distracted, and heavy hearted. Lord please give me the grace to simply accept where others are. Lord I pray for peace and understanding in the hearts of those most closely affected by our decision to adopt.
Well, I definitely had no desire to talk
adoption anymore on this particular day. However, after a CPR re-cert class I completed in the morning, I went to the office to finish up some
things. Right before leaving Trinvella noticed the necklace Jessica had given
me. This naturally opened up adoption discussion and I end-up sharing our journey with her
and a handful of other people! My prayer is that all the glory is yours, Lord!
May all the glory be given to You! But my conversation with them brought such
encouragement!
Lord, you are so purposeful and
intimately involved in my life, thank you! Satan works to discourage me and it
never fails, you steadfastly respond with encouragement to affirm that we are
right where you want us to be. Your presence is undeniable. Lord I pray for
continued strength, encouragement and recognition of Your ever presence during
this journey. Lead us Lord!
This is a
simple song that I first learned during chapel at college, sweet but powerful
worship. The words describe my heart better than I can articulate!
Well, on
Wednesday, September 26th, we received a call from Lifeline’s home office in
Alabama, stating that we had been accepted to Lifeline and that we would be
receiving emails with tons of info to review and would soon be meeting our
social worker.
On Monday, October 1, we received our Ethiopia and SC Manuals,
plus other info to review. It is way exciting when you get those manuals in
your inbox, because you can say, “we really are about to do this!”, but at the
same time super overwhelming when you open the document and its 102 pages long.
Well then on Tuesday, October 2, I’m sitting at the laundry mat (washing Dixie
and Pixie’s stinky blankets and pillow covers), and I get a call from Sarah,
the assistant director of the Ethiopia team which is based out of Kentucky. She
explains she is sending me an email listing all the documents we need to pull
from the manual, review, sign, and send to her.
So, on Wednesday, October 3, I
get all those bad boys printed off and Jeremy and I sit down to read and
discuss each document and sign. So my plan is to get everything in the mail on
Thursday, so as not to delay anything!
Well, I got a real up and close lesson
that as just as active is God is in my life, Satan is on the prowl and there is
nothing about this journey that he likes. Satan did is very best to discourage
me. Thursday, October 4th and particularly, Friday, October 5th, Satan brought so much discouragement to me that I physically felt the weight and heaviness of depression.
In the midst
of being upset and heavy hearted, I just open the bible. I didn’t ask for
encouragement or peace. I just needed to read the Word. I aimlessly open to
Matthew 10… and verses 34-39 read:
“Do not think that I have
come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.
For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be
those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not
worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of
me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake
will find it.
And I simply
ask “God is this really what you came to do?" I begin praying "God, my heart hurts; I cringe to
think Jeremy and I's decisions cause others so much turmoil. God I feel distraught, I need
you. God, I love you and I need your strength to persevere through what you have called us too.”
Throughout the rest of today, God clearly and directly spoke to me through His word. Through His grace, a text from Jessica popped up on my screen, and through a text conversation she brought me such encouragement. Thank you Lord for having Jessica text me this day and for her heart that is in pursuit of you, which brings wisdom and encouragement into my life.
Also at the end of the day, I found myself at the cross asking forgiveness for the sinner that I am. I pray the Lord gives me understanding and grace for those who need time to grieve and accept the plan God has for us. And, mostly I found myself thanking God - thanking Him for His ever presence, love and grace in my life. That is where I find myself often these days...thankful for a Savior who OVERCOMES. He overcomes infertility, fear, worries, discouragement, finances. He has overcame the world, He overcame the cross!
You name it, He overcomes it!
I absolutely love this song! It speaks to me every time I hear it!
