I have much to journal (my memory fails
me often); and I want to remember all that has happened this summer. But in the
meantime, this song is one of my favorites right now.
Your love is like radiant diamonds
Bursting inside us we cannot contain
Your love will surely come find us
Like blazing wild fires singing Your name
God of mercy sweet love of mine
I have surrendered to Your design
May this offering stretch across the skies
And these Halleluiahs be multiplied
Feeling burdened for some specific
people right now. Praying and pleading that God reveals Himself to those who do
not know Him. Praying that He goes after their hearts and mind like a blazing
wildfire, and that His love bursts forth in such a way that they can’t deny Him.
After the Summit (I wrote about that here), we decided to stay the weekend in downtown Chicago! We had never been to Chicago and were super excited to explore the city! Let me just say, Chicago is a GREAT city and I can't wait to go back!!
We stayed in an absolutely charming hotel not far from The Magnificent Mile (and only a few blocks from the "L"). Definitely recommend this place!!
The famous "Bean" in Millennium Park.
While walking from Millenium Park to the Willis Tower - I had to stop and get some Garret's popcorn! And they aren't exaggerating when they say "handcrafted happiness" - absolutely YUM!
View from the 103rd floor of the Willis Tower!! The elevators whisk you up 103 floors in about 90 seconds - our ears even popped while riding to the top! :)
Out on the Ledge of the Skydeck!!
We also made sure to enjoy some authentic Chicago deep dish pizza and bruschetta from Lou Malnati's!
To end our first night in the city, we went to Motown at the Oriental Theater!
On our second day in city we explored The Magnificent Mile (Michigan Avenue), The Water Tower, and Chicago's Sports Museum.
Took a break from the cold and wind with some decadent cheesecake and coffee!!
On our last night in Chicago, we went to Wrigley Field and watched the Cubs play. I was bundled in all the clothes I had brought - it was 40-something degrees!! But we had tons of fun!
We absolutely LOVED Chicago - and will jump on the opportunity to go back again someday. It was a fun way to celebrate 6 years of marriage, as well as, find encouragement and refreshment during this season of life at CAFO's annual Summit!
And for those who are interested - while in Chicago we got updated that we had moved 3 spots on the list. Per our agency policy we can't advertise exactly what number we are on social media sites - but there is movement! :)
Jeremy and I were blessed to attend CAFO's summit again this year. We found crazy good airfare (umm, like $105 round trip, good - thank you Spirit!) and thus we decided to go again. On the flight up to Chicago we talked about whether we thought it was going to be "as good" as last year; and, whether we thought it would impact our lives as much as last year. We came to the consensus - that sure, it was going to be good, but we just didn't see how it could encourage us as much as the year before, simply because we were just in a different place.
But, oh were we wrong - - - it.blew.us.away... again! We received incredible encouragement and learned tons of new things. There simply are no words to describe the feeling of being surrounded by so many people who are like-minded, and ultimately love Christ.
One of my favorite aspects about this year was the celebration of nations, tongues, and tribes. There were 35 countries represented this year at Summit. Even more inspiring was that many people who prayed during the Summit would pray first in English and then finish by praying in their native language. We even had the privilege and experience of worshiping in Portuguese and Korean (these were the two languages of one worship leader and special guest). Another aspect that I greatly appreciated was that CAFO invited and encouraged dialogue amongst people with differing views, as well as, confronted the criticisms of the Christian orphan care movement head-on with wisdom and grace.
All in all, the words of Dr. Russell Moore in an article he posted about this year's summit not only resonate deeply with me, but describe my feelings about the summit best- "Every year that I come to this summit, I’m reminded of just how indebted
I am to be part of this group of extraordinary people, people of whom
I’m not worthy" (para 7). [Read his whole article here.]
Yes, there are times when this journey is long and hard. But everyday, in the quiet place of my spirit, when I turn my eyes back to Jesus and focus on Him, I'm in awe that He trusted us with the calling to adopt as we grow our family - and I'm so grateful His thoughts and ways are higher than mine.
So April has brought a great blessing, and a little movement on the adoption front.
But, first of I must report the great blessing - Jeremy has been promoted to an assistant store manager. We have been praying and waiting for this for a long time! Over the past two years, there have been many lessons in patience and persistence when it came to his career. He has grown a lot as a manager and we are so thankful for this promotion. Every time he interviewed for a position we committed to give God praise whether he got the promotion or not - and we did - but, oh how awesome it is to give thanks and praise as we celebrate his new position!
On the adoption front, we moved three spots. Movement is movement, and we are thankful, but this movement was not related necessarily to referrals (I think some families have dropped from the Ethiopia wait list - for different reasons I'm sure, but the wait with no movement has been grueling). We are hopeful to see movement in the next two months or so. From our understanding, over the past several months Ethiopia has been conducting an investigation among their orphanages and the overall orphan status of children to determine if international adoption is still needed. It has been reported that Ethiopia affirms the need for international adoption is very prevalent, but they also want to ensure that it is the last option when necessary. Upon concluding the investigation, a new policy to advertise each child for local adoption via the newspaper, radio, or any media outlet for at least two months has been implemented. So, overall we are thankful to receive some clarification on what has been
happening in Ethiopia over the past several months and what to expect in
the months to come. There seems to be anticipation that referrals will
pick-up in a few months, but I am still approaching it all with a very
tentative outlook.
In the meantime, we are gearing up for Secret Church tomorrow night. We have two couple friends coming over to join us for the intense bible study and we are super pumped about what God has for us to learn.
And, in light of Easter this weekend... take a minute to listen to this song, it's so beautiful!
It has been very cold and gloomy here over the past several days. I simply can't believe it's mid- March and we still have temperatures in the 40s! I am definitely ready for springtime. However, I do love the mountains and for some reason, the crisp, cold air and rain reminds me of the mountains...and some bluegrass music definitely makes me think about the mountains. So in the midst of hope being deferred, I ran across this song by Alison Krauss the other day and absolutely love it. The lyrics articulate my heart perfectly.
"Jesus Help Me To Stand"
Through trials, troubles and care
I know Jesus my savior is there
Giving me faith through darkest days
Keeping me on the narrow way
Jesus savior, help me each day
Fill me with hope, fill me with faith
Darkness retreats at the touch of Your hand
Jesus savior, help me to stand
Jesus lived through darkest pain
Rejected by men, despising the shame
Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief
He gave his life so we may be free
Jesus savior, help me each day
Fill me with hope, fill me with faith
Darkness retreats at the touch of Your hand
Jesus savior, help me to stand
I know that Jesus died for me
Cancelled my debt at Calvary
Rose from the dead, unlocked Heaven's door
Trust in his love and live evermore
Jesus savior, help me each day
Fill me with hope, fill me with faith
Darkness retreats at the touch of Your hand
Jesus savior, help me to stand
There has been no movement (a.k.a referrals) within the months of January or February. *Sigh*
I honestly feel kinda of hopeless about the whole thing. The
lack of referrals is definitely not due to the lack of children in need
of forever families, but instead a gridlock of politics. The dynamics in Ethiopia seem much more convoluted then simply processing paperwork and referring children in need of adoption. Not sure what to do next... except that I know my hope is definitely deferred for the time being.
So, every February for the last seven years, I've gone on a medical mission trip to Guatemala. Laura and I started going as nursing students and have continued going each year. Its an awesome trip and I'm so thankful to have the opportunity to go! Since returning home this year, I decided I needed to take the time to document the experience. So this photo book is a compilation of the past 7 years!
So, I've almost let three months pass without updating our adoption journey. Honestly, there isn't much to update on the adoption-front, or at least not in the sense of moving up the wait list. Movement has been miniscule, if not absent all together. There was no movement in November, and come the end of December we moved one spot. However, "the waiting" continues to be a season that I know the Lord is using to sanctify us for His greater purposes. I'm compelled to trust Him more, rely on Him more, and simply keep Him the focus as we persevere through the wait.
In December, we had a sweet friend lovingly share her time and talent to not only take our Christmas photo, but also do an "In Waiting" photo shoot for us! Thank you Gretchen (and Christian)!! :)
So, as we wait I've thought about how our wait, anticipation, and hope for our child compares to our wait, anticipation and hope for Jesus. Lately, my prayer has become that my longing for anything in this life, even the desire for children, pale in comparison to my longing for Jesus.
Lord Jesus, please use broken dreams, plans interrupted, disappointment, waiting - whatever it must be - to break me, make me empty, and make me lonely in order for you to become my one desire, my one true love, my breath, my everything. Lord please keep making me. Amen.
What is God using in your life to "keep making" you?
So, as many of you know, I've become a button/badge making fool over the past year with 100% of the proceeds going to our adoption! Well after having a slow spring and summer in the badge department, I have amped it up this fall with more options than ever before! I've done two craft shows this fall and still have some great inventory....so without further ado, I think it's time for a GIVEAWAY!!
So, as it states above you have 4 chances to win!! In order to claim every chance -
So here we are at the beginning of
another month. On Friday, November 1st, we got our monthly update
that we had moved one spot in the month of October. Honestly, it’s what we were
expecting…and even though it was somewhat deflating after hopes of lots of
movement, we accepted the update with thanksgiving and continued hope.
{Rewind four days}
Sunday night while
driving home from Charlotte, I felt anxiety in my spirit building. Anxiety that
I could not even fully articulate what it was about. I was praying through my
thoughts with the Lord and asking for His presence to be ever near. When Monday
arrived, I woke to an array of errands, and the anxiety and feeling of
depression loomed in the background – but I just pushed it back and attempted
to compartmentalize life in order to complete the tasks at hand.
Come Tuesday morning, I
could no longer ignore my thoughts and feelings – I felt depressed,
disheartened, and anxious. Every task became a chore and nothing fully
distracted me from the feelings and thoughts that plagued me. It was a physical
feeling of deep sadness. My thoughts mainly consisted of feeling as though our
journey of adoption was “less than”, “not good enough”, and that “we were
missing out” on the journey and experience of biological children. [LIES from
SATAN]. I think I was also dreading approaching the end of the month and
receiving another update of no movement. I knew in my head, these thoughts were
NOT of God, but I couldn’t shake them. I prayed to God and read His word, but
nothing comforted me or brought me peace.Late on Tuesday night I was driving to see a patient and like usual, I
had my worship music playing, but I couldn’t even bring myself to sing – my
spirit felt that burdened with anxiety and sadness. My thoughts strayed to the
accusation that maybe my emotions weren’t related to our adoption, but rather
lack of sleep and looking death and grief in the face so many times lately –
literally, in less than a three weeks time, I had attended seven deaths of
patients (a few of them being deaths characterized with difficult symptoms to
manage) and comforted grieving families. Now granted, I’m sure my physical and
mental exhaustion of my profession had some influence on my spiritual and
emotional state – but that was not the culprit of the problem – Satan was.
Wednesday came with no
relief. I trudged on through the daily tasks. I went to dinner with Jeremy, my
sister, and bro-in-law and shared my exhaustion amongst the waiting of
adoption. Everyone in good motive was brainstorming what would help me lift me
out of my funk – maybe a weekend away, maybe a Broadway show, or simply apiece of free Pie from O’Charley’s since it
was Wednesday (at least that was what Jeremy was hoping would do it). But I
knew nothing would fix "the problem". I was just waiting expectantly
to be lifted from the fog. I was lost at why this spirit of depression and
anxiety was lingering for so long. Why wasn’t God lifting me out of this pit? I
couldn’t shake it! And let me tell you, I am a person who is prideful –
prideful about my emotional strength, resilience, and stoic reserve. [And
honestly, I'm sharing all of this in hopes to first, give God the glory and
credit, secondly, to encourage others in the midst of spiritual warfare, and
thirdly, as an account for me to remember how faithful God was to me in the
storm.]
Come early Thursday
morning, I was called to patient who was close to death. It was around 4:30 am
when I left to be with the patient. Upon cranking my car and heading down the
road, Dr. Charles Stanley happened to be on the radio talking about the power
of Satan. I turned it up… He spoke about how Satan is our enemy and an absolute
LIAR, and how he “prowls around like a roaring lion looking
for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Dr. Stanley continued by encouraging that
we must be alert and sober minded. He expanded on how to resist him and to
stand firm in the faith (See 1 Peter 5: 8-9). He discussed how as believers the
Holy Spirit resides within us and is more powerful, and has actually already overcome
(1 John 4:4), Satan’s lies, deceit, and discouragement.Dr. Stanley furthermore discussed how there
is power in speaking out loud against Satan’s holds on our lives.
(It's
a 2-part series that aired October 30th and 31st - I heard Part 2 on the 31st)
Well…some
of you may already know where this going… a revival began within the four doors
of my car while driving down the interstate in the wee hours of the morning. I
began to rebuke and denounce Satan’s lies over my life. I started claiming
God’s truths and promises out-loud – proclaiming His victory at the cross and
my trust in His sovereignty over my life. Immediately, I began to feel Satan’s
spirit of oppression and anxiety lift - I finally felt free. God had sustained
me, he had never left me and as I look back over the week, God’s presence
was very evident (next blog post).
For this life here on earth, the
battle will continue - but what peace to know that ultimately the battle has
already been won! No matter what this life brings, we will rest in knowing who
goes before us.
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never
leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Technically, this is our second Orphan Sunday to celebrate since beginning the adoption process - but this year, for some reason it seems more relevant to us.
I don't know if it is because we have been in the adoption process for the last year or if we are just more keenly aware of the staggering number of children in need of families or if it is because we have been awakened to our own spiritual orphan-hood and adoption by God.
Nevertheless, orphans are on our heart today, as they are every day. We are praying for God's providence in the lives of His children, whether they are here in the states or abroad in other countries. We pray that His children feel His presence, love, and hope amidst each day. And, we are praying the God continues to guide our steps, as well as, equip us to defend the fatherless in such a way that He is ultimately glorified.
No one can do everything, but everyone can do something!
Lastly, in light of every child who is in need of a family...whether it be a forever family, a family to stand in the gap for only a specified time, or a child who needs to be loved from a distant through sponsorship and prayer...I can't help but think of each of them when I hear this song!
So, this weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to accompany a sweet friend of mine, Mrs. M, to Nashville to celebrate the 40th Anniversary of Health Talents International. Health Talents is the organization I travel with and serve in Guatemala with every February! It was a great night and I learned a lot about the history of this great organization. God truly has blessed the efforts of Health Talents and it is a privilege to partner with them! It was also fun to have a mid-year reunion with many of the team members that I travel with in February!
Me, Mrs. M, and Laura
(Mrs. M is the spunkiest 87 year young lady you will ever meet - and yes! she goes to Guatemala with us every February!)
So blessed to see some dear friends - even though it was way TOO short!
Slumber party with these sweet gals!
Overall, it was a great trip to Nashville. We ended the weekend by worshiping the Lord together with some other February team members and then had lunch before heading back to the airport. God's family truly is amazing! Here's the thing - I've spent one week, each year, for the past six years of my life with these people... and I truly love them.
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and send his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."
1 John 4: 10-11
Want more info about Health Talents International - CLICK HERE
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