So, as many of you know, I've become a button/badge making fool over the past year with 100% of the proceeds going to our adoption! Well after having a slow spring and summer in the badge department, I have amped it up this fall with more options than ever before! I've done two craft shows this fall and still have some great inventory....so without further ado, I think it's time for a GIVEAWAY!!
So, as it states above you have 4 chances to win!! In order to claim every chance -
So here we are at the beginning of
another month. On Friday, November 1st, we got our monthly update
that we had moved one spot in the month of October. Honestly, it’s what we were
expecting…and even though it was somewhat deflating after hopes of lots of
movement, we accepted the update with thanksgiving and continued hope.
{Rewind four days}
Sunday night while
driving home from Charlotte, I felt anxiety in my spirit building. Anxiety that
I could not even fully articulate what it was about. I was praying through my
thoughts with the Lord and asking for His presence to be ever near. When Monday
arrived, I woke to an array of errands, and the anxiety and feeling of
depression loomed in the background – but I just pushed it back and attempted
to compartmentalize life in order to complete the tasks at hand.
Come Tuesday morning, I
could no longer ignore my thoughts and feelings – I felt depressed,
disheartened, and anxious. Every task became a chore and nothing fully
distracted me from the feelings and thoughts that plagued me. It was a physical
feeling of deep sadness. My thoughts mainly consisted of feeling as though our
journey of adoption was “less than”, “not good enough”, and that “we were
missing out” on the journey and experience of biological children. [LIES from
SATAN]. I think I was also dreading approaching the end of the month and
receiving another update of no movement. I knew in my head, these thoughts were
NOT of God, but I couldn’t shake them. I prayed to God and read His word, but
nothing comforted me or brought me peace.Late on Tuesday night I was driving to see a patient and like usual, I
had my worship music playing, but I couldn’t even bring myself to sing – my
spirit felt that burdened with anxiety and sadness. My thoughts strayed to the
accusation that maybe my emotions weren’t related to our adoption, but rather
lack of sleep and looking death and grief in the face so many times lately –
literally, in less than a three weeks time, I had attended seven deaths of
patients (a few of them being deaths characterized with difficult symptoms to
manage) and comforted grieving families. Now granted, I’m sure my physical and
mental exhaustion of my profession had some influence on my spiritual and
emotional state – but that was not the culprit of the problem – Satan was.
Wednesday came with no
relief. I trudged on through the daily tasks. I went to dinner with Jeremy, my
sister, and bro-in-law and shared my exhaustion amongst the waiting of
adoption. Everyone in good motive was brainstorming what would help me lift me
out of my funk – maybe a weekend away, maybe a Broadway show, or simply apiece of free Pie from O’Charley’s since it
was Wednesday (at least that was what Jeremy was hoping would do it). But I
knew nothing would fix "the problem". I was just waiting expectantly
to be lifted from the fog. I was lost at why this spirit of depression and
anxiety was lingering for so long. Why wasn’t God lifting me out of this pit? I
couldn’t shake it! And let me tell you, I am a person who is prideful –
prideful about my emotional strength, resilience, and stoic reserve. [And
honestly, I'm sharing all of this in hopes to first, give God the glory and
credit, secondly, to encourage others in the midst of spiritual warfare, and
thirdly, as an account for me to remember how faithful God was to me in the
storm.]
Come early Thursday
morning, I was called to patient who was close to death. It was around 4:30 am
when I left to be with the patient. Upon cranking my car and heading down the
road, Dr. Charles Stanley happened to be on the radio talking about the power
of Satan. I turned it up… He spoke about how Satan is our enemy and an absolute
LIAR, and how he “prowls around like a roaring lion looking
for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Dr. Stanley continued by encouraging that
we must be alert and sober minded. He expanded on how to resist him and to
stand firm in the faith (See 1 Peter 5: 8-9). He discussed how as believers the
Holy Spirit resides within us and is more powerful, and has actually already overcome
(1 John 4:4), Satan’s lies, deceit, and discouragement.Dr. Stanley furthermore discussed how there
is power in speaking out loud against Satan’s holds on our lives.
(It's
a 2-part series that aired October 30th and 31st - I heard Part 2 on the 31st)
Well…some
of you may already know where this going… a revival began within the four doors
of my car while driving down the interstate in the wee hours of the morning. I
began to rebuke and denounce Satan’s lies over my life. I started claiming
God’s truths and promises out-loud – proclaiming His victory at the cross and
my trust in His sovereignty over my life. Immediately, I began to feel Satan’s
spirit of oppression and anxiety lift - I finally felt free. God had sustained
me, he had never left me and as I look back over the week, God’s presence
was very evident (next blog post).
For this life here on earth, the
battle will continue - but what peace to know that ultimately the battle has
already been won! No matter what this life brings, we will rest in knowing who
goes before us.
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never
leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Technically, this is our second Orphan Sunday to celebrate since beginning the adoption process - but this year, for some reason it seems more relevant to us.
I don't know if it is because we have been in the adoption process for the last year or if we are just more keenly aware of the staggering number of children in need of families or if it is because we have been awakened to our own spiritual orphan-hood and adoption by God.
Nevertheless, orphans are on our heart today, as they are every day. We are praying for God's providence in the lives of His children, whether they are here in the states or abroad in other countries. We pray that His children feel His presence, love, and hope amidst each day. And, we are praying the God continues to guide our steps, as well as, equip us to defend the fatherless in such a way that He is ultimately glorified.
No one can do everything, but everyone can do something!
Lastly, in light of every child who is in need of a family...whether it be a forever family, a family to stand in the gap for only a specified time, or a child who needs to be loved from a distant through sponsorship and prayer...I can't help but think of each of them when I hear this song!
